I never thought I’d be a crier or a highly emotional person. I’d always viewed crying as weak – I wanted to be strong. I’d hold back during movies that moved me; or I pushed uncomfortable emotions way down because I was strong and didn’t want to feel them.
Then I started working with a Spiritual Mindset Coach who viewed crying in a positive light. A cleansing release of emotion. Emotion isn’t bad – it’s highly informative! It’s intertwined with your thoughts so it can tell you a lot about yourself. I’ve seen some people say that your thoughts create your emotions and others say your emotions create your thoughts. I imagine it’s both.
I’d also argue that if you’re not taking care of yourself that will impact both your thoughts and your emotions.
I didn’t take care of myself this week. Sure I meditated every day but I barely worked out and I made some real poor food choices. Now I completely believe in balance in all these areas. One skipped workout or one bad meal will not break me. But both things every day? Yeah, that’s too much.
Come Saturday I was overwhelmed. Nothing was really going on but I felt like shit and my emotions were all over the damn place (seriously, my staff at work can attest to this. Those poor girls 😔). There was definitely some pms thrown in there but I knew it was because I had neglected myself. Each day I had a different reason for why I had to miss my workout or why I should eat the thing. But we all know they were excuses.
All day I felt on the edge of tears. It was as though every emotion I’d ever felt about every situation in my entire life decided to make an appearance 😂 By the time I got home I wanted to sob. I wanted to release that emotion. This may sound really bad to you. Like I’m going through some awful stuff. I’m not. I had a bad day and releasing that sometimes comes through tears. I learnt a lot about why showing up for myself is so so so important. My coach has told me this countless times but I’ve never had a week where I did so little for myself and I truly felt the impact of that.
When you’re learning to connect with yourself emotionally and spiritually it can seem like you have this heightened sense of emotions. Like days that wouldn’t have affected you as much in the past affect you so much more because you are so in tune with what feeling good feels like. I described it to my husband as wanting to remove myself from my body just for a break. What’s next? You’d better believe I set that alarm for 6am on a Sunday to workout and meditate before our breakfast plans. This afternoon is yoga and more meditation. This is what loving myself looks like.
It’s not easy. Working through your stories, breaking negative patterns, and truly connecting with yourself takes grit. It takes strength to look at yourself and take responsibility for everything and know you have the power to change. It takes courage and the drive to be the best damn version of yourself. It’s only possible if you are loving yourself every day.
But we never give up. Love yourself every damn day 💜