Choosing happiness.

What happens when you put yourself first? Usually it’s great. But sometimes you’ll rub up against what other people want and you’re faced with a decision. My happiness or theirs.

I’m a Pisces. My sign tends to put themselves last but wants the recognition for choosing to do that. I refuse to do that anymore.

If I can’t put myself first then I’ll never be happy. I’ll never live an authentic life.

Now this doesn’t mean we purposely hurt people to get what we want. That’s not it at all. But sometimes you’ll find yourself faced with a decision that seems like an impossible choice. It seems like there is no right answer.

But deep down you know your truth. You know that for yourself you have to make a certain decision. But that could hurt others. And it sucks. It feels like the biggest weight.

But here’s the thing, if something wasn’t authentic for you then it wasn’t right for any of you. Whether this is a work situation, a friendship, or a relationship. Once it feels so wrong to one person it is never going to work out. Energetically things are outta whack. You’re vibrating on different levels and it cannot be sustained without great pain to someone. So you either sustain with pain or you choose to go your separate ways.

I recently had to make such a decision. It wasn’t easy. I waffled back and forth trying to convince myself it was the right path for me. I talked to my coach about it, a lot. She’s intuitive so I’m sure she knew where it was heading but she never gave me advice, just questions to help me clarify what I needed to figure out.

I meditated. A lot. And I knew my decision. Sharing that decision was even harder.

I was met with anger, sadness, and a whole hell of a lot of victim mentality. I had to remember that those emotions are not my responsibility. It’s good to have concern but I couldn’t let those emotions become my burden. They are working through their own triggers and I can’t take it personally (significantly easier said than done).

And as hard as it was I knew deep in my core that it was the right decision. I spent time every damn day connecting and journaling so that I had true confidence making this decision. Being authentic isn’t easy at times; it’s really messy. But out of that comes true confidence in who you are.

This is why the inner work is so important. You need to be able to work through your own triggers to connect to yourself so that you can trust your decisions. The inner work also allows you to see someone spiralling in a victim mentality, knowing that it really isn’t about you, it’s about them and their unhealed past pain. You see their pain and you love them. And you always love yourself 💜

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