Let’s talk boundaries.
They are so important but can be tough for a lot of us to implement.
We’re often taught to put others first, put ourselves on the back burner, and always give and say yes.
We are not taught how to say no.
Not only do we have a choice around what we can say yes or no to but we can create boundaries around what we accept into our lives.
We set the boundary around how people treat us. When we allow someone to treat us like shit they will accept that there really are no boundaries around how they can treat us. So they’ll continue to treat us like shit. And we’ll continue to take it because we don’t want to be mean (or we are a people pleaser 🙋🏻♀️).
I recently had someone really angry and upset with me and they lashed out. Now, they were completely valid in their feelings.
But I can choose to not engage how they treat me. I did not intentionally hurt this person. And by allowing/engaging their behaviour I set the boundary for future encounters.
I desperately wanted to slip into a victim mindset and argue my side. I knew that wasn’t fair to them or productive. They were hurting so I just sent them love. Sometimes love from afar is all we can do. And I gave space to them and for myself. Space can be really important at times. It allows us to turn inward and really connect to ourselves. It allowed them time to start their own healing process and it allowed me to set boundaries around the energy I allow into my life.
It sounds simple, and it is, but in the moment it can feel challenging as hell to stand up for yourself. A simple no, or walking away from a situation can be scary and empowering! What works for me is simply not engaging negative energy and behaviour. I’ll change the topic, or ignore the negative thing that was said. It’s easy via text to not respond. As I start to step into my truth more and more I’m encountering fewer negative/toxic people. They simply don’t vibe with me anymore so I don’t attract them into my life.
Setting boundaries are about you and what you allow into your life.
It’s not about telling someone what they can and can’t feel. It’s not about judging anyone for their reaction.
Boundaries are how you allow people to treat you. So what are you allowing?