Listening to the incredible Mark Groves podcast and he drops this truth bomb: “You don’t just get to feel how you fucking want to feel. You have to choose your way towards it”.
I encounter people all the time who want to feel differently about certain situations or want to be triggered less but aren’t willing to put in the work to get there.
Usually we don’t want to face ourselves. Looking within ourselves takes courage. To face our own stories, truths, and beliefs and question it. We have to take responsibility for our lives and what we’ve created. We can no longer live in that victim mentality. We can’t blame our family, our friends, our boss, or our coworkers. It’s not easy to do that – I totally get it. But, you can’t expect your outer experience to change if you don’t do the inner work. Your job isn’t going to magically get better. Your relationship isn’t going to suddenly feel more loving.
How do you choose your way towards what you want to feel?
Acknowledge that you are the one creating this life so you have the power to change it. This creates awareness around how we are acting and that can be a powerful motivator. Next time you’re in a situation where you don’t like how you’re feeling ask yourself why you are reacting that way. Don’t just blame the other person/people involved, truly question why you had that reaction and feeling.
Meditate – connect to yourself and learn what you do want out of life. When we can slow down in meditation and truly connect we become less reactive. That situation that used to piss you off at work – it won’t feel as triggering anymore. Maybe you’ll react the same way but afterwards you’ll have the awareness around why you reacted that way. Perhaps the next time you’ll feel triggered but won’t react.
Start noticing the little things. Want more abundance in your life? Start to appreciate the ways you are already abundant. Abundance often relates to money but it is in all areas of our lives. The simple act of buying a coffee can make us feel abundant. Going for a walk and recognizing the abundance of nature. It literally means a large amount of something. This can apply to anything!
Want to be more calm? Look for moments of calm and appreciate them. Create moments of calm for yourself (hint: meditate) and appreciate them. Whilst you’re at it appreciate the abundance of time you had that allowed you to meditate 😉
If we want our outer world to change it won’t just happen. We have to put in the work to make it happen and make it a priority.
I saw this recently on my birthday. I usually shy away from attention on my birthday not wanting to celebrate it, yet always found myself feeling kinda down that it was a regular day.
I’ve spent 3-4 years working on my self worth and loving myself. I truly saw the impact of that when I really felt good about the attention on my birthday! I believed the words people wrote in cards, I didn’t feel guilty accepting gifts, and I didn’t feel bad that my husband cooked a special meal for me. I didn’t expect to feel that way. I was super emotional the next day because I literally didn’t know how to hold all of that love in my body.
It showed me that this works. The time I’ve spent learning what feels loving for me and then doing it (especially on days I didn’t feel like it) was worthwhile. I am a worthwhile investment.
So are you 💜